Personal Posts

Black Mirror

This is a new one for me. I will admit I’ve been grasped by television shows before but television hasn’t been much of a staple in my life. My parents controlled the television when I was a child. We had some shows we watched as a family like Survivor. But mostly it was an episode of Bleach, Naruto, DragonBall Z or something similar at night when I was old enough to have the permission to stay up late to watch television. I watched Family Guy and American Dad that gave me a chuckle here and there and the morning cartoons of Saturdays (Digimon, Pokémon, BeyBlade, Chaotic, the list goes on and on… the good old days) that literally paved the way for my imagination and ability to tell stories alongside a brutally real friendship with my best friend.

I stumbled upon Heroes, a show that literally grasped me and made me obsessed watching all four seasons, a total of 78 hours spread out over a week. My passion for “normal people with abilities” came from this show. Alphas on SyFy was another decent one. I stumbled upon Teen Wolf (the new one, not the old one) that really pulled at me for awhile. I would look forward to every single week when a new episode would air. Then there is Shameless my most recent completed series. A show about tragedy with brilliant characters. This seems like a lot if you think about it, but I’ve been watching TV for twenty plus years. And this is all I have really enjoyed?

Technology has become a normal staple in the everyday evolving world. Just about everyone in the world (75% to be exact) own a smartphone. It has stolen us away from the world. The internet is literally the cornerstone for every possible thing in the world. Technology has popped up everywhere. Gone are the days of boxy televisions, monitors, and computer towers that could kill a small child. Now we have efficient and powerful desktops, extremely portable laptops, and of course the Tablet and SmartWatch market that has take us all by storm with the intention of cementing technology in our everyday lives.

There really isn’t anything in the world you could work or school you could attend where technology has not infected us. It’s on everything with a screen. Advertisements. Entertainment. Cult phenomenons have exploded and this is just the beginning. Our technological advances have been ridiculous and it hasn’t even reached the peak of what is possible with technology. It is the cornerstone of my life. Social Media has grabbed ahold of so much of the population (I do not have or use Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Twitter, MySpace, anything… Nothing really social.) I love Reddit and is probably where I spend most of my leisure time (which would be a social network if I used it as such, it’s more of information and entertainment for me. My karma score would disappoint you!)

This isn’t the end. Not even close. Every single year we advance further and further with technology it will literally be in everything you could imagine soon enough. It keeps advancing and we still want more. Dabbling in Artificial Intelligence, self-driving cars, our sole solution for news coverage. A way to control everything in the world. Do we have a line? Of course not we will never stop advancing…

Welcome to the era of the new phenomenon Black Mirror. This show was pretty intriguing for the first few episodes I’ve watched (I think I’ve only seen four or so in total so far) but tonight my wife and I watched “Men Against Fire” and let me tell you what. It cemented the era of terror. The role of technology in our life has been pretty hefty as it is but it hasn’t really taken us the way some of the technology they have presented on this show. It was bone-chilling the things I have seen so far (and I intend on watching more). It really made me go outside for a minute and just be like… What the fuck?

The technology I have seen so far is not just science fiction chaos; it is all plausible. Everything they have presented has been something anyone could wrap their head around as a possibility. Halfway through the episode “Men Against Fire” I deciphered what was going to happen, I predicted the outcome of it. It made my jaw drop when I was proven to be correct. The thoughts that coursed through my head before my conclusion could be simplified by “it couldn’t be, we would never do something this awful!”. When I found out I was right. A piece of me died inside. How could this be possible? How could this be something someone has considered. Why as early as tomorrow could this all become true.

We’ve walked away from the world of magic, an ancient fantasy we all have heard about. We walked straight into making magic “real”. They can talk about powerful wizards or witches that could hex a mind. A chip placed in your brain could do this. The infamous tag line “I need a Rez” wrap something around someone’s head and instantly they are healed. A headshot, expelled by science and technology. The infamous fire spell and we can carry a device to start one in our pocket. It really begins to question what is the real gap between fantasy and reality?

It’s only going to get more intense. More technology will flood our lives. Life will no longer be moving in the same direction. It will become a stream we will be able to coax in any direction. Where is the spirit? Where does life come from when we can suddenly generate or steal it at will. Where is the line crossing for humanity and technology? What are the limits on technology? What will make us human when they start peeling apart emotions, dreams, and spirit?

Don’t get me started on the conspiracy theory side of anything. I feel there is a cure for cancer out there but we make so much money off of their treatment they would never release it. What else is being hidden from us by our government? Area 51 has been a serious thought for so many years. Why are they keeping it from us? What does the world boil down too when so little of our population controls the entire worlds wealth? The mind-fucking we receive each and every day from the media. Are vaccinations a form of population control? Any other disease serve a more dark agenda? What is the intention of our world’s powers?

Why is there so much hate in the world. So much suffering. Money a cause of evil. The lies that spew from peoples mouths every single day. The chaos we have ensued. How long can we keep this up? How long before we all lose our bloody minds and explode? The violence is glorified. What don’t we know. Why don’t we know what we don’t know. The world is shrouded in mystery, deceit, and misguidance. It’s a mad mad world out there.

So in conclusion, this sounds like complete and utter nonsense. A jumbled mess of thoughts and thesis’s. But what made my mind spew out the chaos I just spelt out before you? That episode of Black Mirror. I look forward to seeing the other sickening, straight mind-fucking, and furious horror that they can present to me on the very thing they might be trying to warn us about. I look forward to being twisted and harmed by this shows ideas. I think you should check it out too. It might make you think a little more about what the hell could be coming or open up the mind to “what the fucking hell” scenarios.

Thanks for reading!

Personal Posts

You Are Your Greatest Enemy

The ideas that infiltrate my mind. Infecting the very small fraction of my sanity still intact. Words are poisons of the mind. Words can be antidotes or clues to the chaos before you. Venomous clues you must take one at a time; hoping not to overdose. A dissection of possibilities. 

The tragedies and scenes that play in your mind like a motion picture. Images flashing pulling at each and every sense it can grab hold of and twist into some dark aversion. Your sanity screams and begs for mercy. But alas it has no choice but to give in. 

Crawl into your safe-place as you recover from the battle within yourself you inspired. Hoping for the healing of forgiveness to play its harmonic tones. In the waning distance you realize the violins are soft and staggered. As though hanging onto the very thought of “normality” waves its arms in front of you, walking away into the fog of self-inflicted suicide. 

You claw out your eyes trying to separate reality from subliminal. The pain a reminder of what’s before you and what is inside.

You finally realize; this battle cannot be won. 

You were a great adversary but yourself will overpower you. 

Personal Posts

Starry Night

No one (I know) takes time to look at the stars anymore. They’re all wrapped up in their own digital fabricated universes. Don’t they realize what’s in front of them is far greater than what is beyond them? I suppose I’m just a cynic. I’m no better than them. I wasted the last half hour watching stupid videos on YouTube. I wonder if this is all just some sort of experiment trying their hardest to brainwash us all? It’s all well and good for the things it does, but it consumes whole-heartedly. Relationships and friendships with those next to you fray. While (sometimes) those far away grow stronger. I guess it is all up to perspective and preference. I’m just that nerd who loves having the latest and greatest and realize, those with technologies just as good as mine are far more interested than I. I want something to work, the way it is supposed to, the first time. I care about the small moments I invest in the digital treasure troves. They want it to fill a void in their hearts. 

The earth isn’t doing too hot, any estimation as to when it will perish? I always wonder that as I walk the streets or drive in my (not as fuel efficient as I’d like) car. Cigarette butts and McDonald’s wrappers scattered on the streets. Crumbling buildings remain in ruin. Recycle recycle plastered all around; as they wrap their products in plastic. I guess I’m just weird. I look at things a different way I suppose. I can’t really pinpoint it. I feel like something is constantly wrong with the world but no one else seems to notice. I can’t believe the misery thats permantaed our souls. Is consumption no longer the answer? Well I won’t ever know, I see people going off grid and buying their tiny homes, when they just spend the same on a normal home. Their is a price to pay for everything and everyone seems to be willing. 

I’m not all bad though. I see the positives in everything, as much as I can. I see you holding the door open for that person. Tossing your spare change into the charity jar. Trying their hardest to bury their darkness because, they would want no one to feel the way they do. I know there are so many good people in the world, and so many bad. I look at them each as same as I can as everyone has a motive. I know everything happens for a reason but I always want to know why? 

I’m not a great person, I’ve got plenty of flaws. I see the world through darkness. Not to mention without cause. I don’t know why we do all that we do. We say its for them, but really; it should be for you. I want to always be someone else? I can’t really fathom. What’s so wrong with me? What’s really the matter? I fabricate transgressions in the deep recesses of my mind. I wonder whats not working, am I really not kind. I always want answers, right away if possible. But sometimes I know, I shouldn’t even bother. Some things in the world has no pleasing answer. Some things in the world really can’t be mastered. 

I know I’m rumbling and ranting, and I think I even rhymed? Sometimes the memory overrules the mind. It makes up situations that are not all together great. I’m just like you, I’ve got plenty of deadweight. Knowledge is the solution to problems that need not one. I want an answer, someting with value for everyone. This is silly I know I’m really quite a fool. I guess I’ll say goodnight. 
Good luck to you too. 

Personal Posts

Late Night Convolutions

Where are the worlds I crafted from scratch, the characters of depth from my old life? Where has the winding plots gone. The narratives that once amazed me? Where is the magic that once coursed through my veins? Putting pencil to paper has become a burden to me, because nothing ever good comes from it. It’s a simple block I tell myself. At this point has it become something more? Has my passion left me? Am I no longer a crafter of words? A magician who’s wand is simply a pencil? The most powerful weapon known to man?

I can no longer wield it’s power. I must become stronger.

Personal Posts

Coffee, as Black as my Soul? Or Maybe Something More?

“Black coffee is a synecdoche for life; when you eliminate the excess—when you deliberately avoid life’s empty calories—what remains is exponentially more delicious, more enjoyable, more worthwhile. It might be a bitter shock at first; but, much like coffee, a meaningful life is an acquired taste. Sip slowly and enjoy.”

Life is an Aquired Taste-Joshua Fields Millburn

What an interesting epiphany this quote delivered me. I’ve never thought of black coffee as a pleasurable experience, but none the less once you get over the bitter taste (which happened for me within minutes) what you taste is so much more enjoyable. It’s more powerful. You can really taste what you’ve been missing. It is definitely a good quote from one of The Minimalists. A lifestyle choice I hope to embrace. It’s much easier to read the benefits then try to fight for them yourself. It’s going to be a rough and bumpy ride but how my life has changed in the last couple weeks have really opened my eyes. Change isn’t always necessarily a bad thing it just can take a lot of effort and conscious decisions. It’s so much easier to float through life in oblivion then it is to look at yourself, really look into everything you are, to realize, change can be a good thing. Nothing will happen overnight, it rarely ever does. The best things in life take time. Mimalism however isn’t the “oh god get rid of everything you own and you’ll be better” kind of thing. It’s  more of a refocus on what is truly important in you’re life. Look at every piece of your life and analyze it, what brings value and what weighs you down? After realizing another epiphany recently (my previous blog post) I thought about it and no matter what; you can always give it your very best shot. It’s better to say you tried then to not try at all. Sure my mind has been a jumbled mess lately but I’ll refocus my thoughts and pull something out of my brain. Something great I hope. If not, there is always ways to improve. Just gotta do it man.

My my name is Seth Kaileen, I am a community college student, and full time Training Coordinator at a local bank. (Hence why I’m attending community college). My schedules can be chaotic or empty all in the same week. I’m still not sure what I am focusing on for my career choices, but either option I consider is in the field of education. On my limited (or excessive) spare time I’d like to write more, try to engage my mind. There was once a time when stories poured out of me like lost song lyrics, now it’s so cluttered that my stories stay hidden. I’ve got to poke and prod my head to dig them out. There are so many tools out there to help spark the writers thought process and I need to utilize each and every one of them to get results. Once I pull that off I’m hoping to hone my skill and really spend my time doing something I’m passionate about. Sure, I might never be a famous author; on tours and book signings, heck I might not ever write a book, nothing but short stories and free flowing words that may or may not make sense. But I know I’ll be happy doing in it and that is the real kicker here. Your passion should become just that, a passion.

Hard work. Dedication. A cup of black coffee. Nothing but me and my tablet, or me and my notebook to keep the peace!

Personal Posts

Project CyroGenisis 2015

Every year I create what I call Project CyroGenisis, which is in reality a fancy term for New Years Resolutions. Every year I seem to pick the same things to work on, and every year I disappoint myself. Not anymore! This year I have a lot of changes to expect. I’m having a beautiful baby boy! So it’s going to be a way different year! Hopefully I can live up to MY expectations!

Finances
-Something I’ve always struggled with. Now that I work at a bank it’s a little more important. So I’ve devised a plan to help me manage my finances using three accounts.
–Bill Account
—This account will be used to pay ALL the bills
–Cash Account
—This is my “spending money” for gas, etc.
–Savings Account
—I will ACTUALLY save money for once. We will need all we can get how things are going!

Writing
-Something I love, but have issues with every once in a while for sometimes I am plagued with Writers Block. However, I am working on ways of overcoming such a trifle sickness!
–Naruto: Valkyrie
—Years ago a friend of mine and I created an eight year long Live Action Role-playing Game based on Naruto. Now I wish to craft it into words!
–Naruto: Insurgence
—I can’t possible remember every detail so I’ve decided to craft it on what I know, starting with some small changes! Each story will be a piece of the whole. A battle against all our created villains, that I thankfully, recorded when we built this masterpiece!

Health
-I always have one or two things to work on when the New Year comes with the whole “New Year, new me thing”.
–Sleep
—Now that I have a balanced schedule I can work on getting to bed and waking up on time to get the best out of my day!

And that’s it! Wish me luck!